The Desperation Tournament
i nerved myself as best i could, went in
for you i did not piss how beautiful
today the light has been gilded and thin
atmosphere stirred by sun as usual

The Desperation Tournament unfolds
is it the fact of burst or feel of bloat
collapsing in a field of marigold
this is preoccupation antidote

i want to make you pleased by holding on
my failure is inherent to the high
i want to be a most prized possession
glistening puddle full of shame and pride

it's not about the win but taking part
the wetness of my pants and beating heart



fresh blush

of body closeness
sharing morning
with you i crave
scared with you
safe having met

with rain cigarette
one-hand bicycle
park with sediment
kiss sweat hot
breath on couch
thanks dinner

with harsh soap skin
catches wool jumper
velcro fingers touching
soft smooth iguanas
lounging

doctor i spend
morning hour daily
stuck body broken
wooden fold leaf
table legs bent
alone send kiss
cut flowers kiss
knee i never met



lay let sink
these bodies were found
bound by willow
nipples pinched
and cut, precluding
homosocial sucking
for fealty affection
submission protection

one night one hundred sprites came
to drag me to their depths
they carried me to water
with suction from their mouths
my feet became wet and cold
i woke and said
not yet

i want to smell the cum tree
i want to smell the corpse flower
i want to taste the swamp tea

sweetened with mad honey
this rhododendron's leaves grow
in whorls around the stem
each creamy flower has symmetry
caterpillars preferentially devour them



floor bed prone
catch little sunshine
hole falling in out sleep
listening moby dick,, wrong order
yes bouillon sweat
yes butter toast
yes spiced tea
yes joop soap
no garlic
no piss
no pussy
no coffee
no mint candle
no lavender spray
no eucalyptus jelly
tattoo arm,, sidewise embrace
comforting unsettling both
sensation of warm from pit
my body double spoon
on bed boat small craft
o bouillon sweat
o butter toast
o spiced tea
o joop soap
o garlic
o piss
o pussy
o coffee
o mint candle
o lavender spray
o eucalyptus jelly



but what came of the delight

education in becoming whole
service practice in the mirror
mind to watch those inches
ever increasing capacity to take
and give this day daily structure
morning devotional practice swallowing
life in all its shifting shapes day to day
mundanity taking out the bins
boiling the toys



a compass



my health block
ready? hurt your both
and in through
represent back and forth
very bad my health block

take care the best,
i won't be when i am
i am writing you

reflect and how autonomy
hours and hours and hours
snookered knock-begging you to

urgency to protect
sense danger
familiar destabilising
contradictory skewing
the effect
,
makes whether this unwell
reality, and do
things that after having
had gotten i urgently,
i did it
i did



blushes
freshness of a cheek she smiled
rolled down the flushed

have hotly denied had she teased
a tear which no doubt

on her over her shoulder the while
keeping one eye

reluctantly she turned her bottom
shouldn't have done it then

she realised that perhaps she
edged a little further away

in nervous defiance between her lips
the girl's tongue peeped briefly